There are pressures women in college face every day to look perfect, be easygoing, and stay strong, but it's all a big facade.
It's not reality!
Recently, I've realized that just because I'm young and in college doesn't mean I'm invincible mentally or physically. In my sophomore year of college, I began comparing myself to my peers and the image of what I thought represented "a beautiful woman."
This lingered in my head until I began to believe I was unattractive, fat, and worthless. This made me feel empty and alone, even though I was surrounded by friends and family who loved me endlessly.
My friends at school know me as the girl who can make anyone smile, finds the positive in everything, and the most energetic girl they know. They didn't know I was struggling with how I felt about myself. I didn't want that reputation to be ruined by sharing with them my feelings, so I buried them within myself. The wrong thing to do.
There's a stereotype that for a woman to show strength it means to hold back her tears and emotions from the world, put a smile on her face and work through it. This perspective is especially thought of in young women like myself.
The smile many young women uphold is a mask hiding reality.
Girl, rip that mask off. That is the farthest thing from what being strong truly means.
MYTH: Being a strong woman is smiling through tough times and showing emotions is a sign of weakness.
FACT: Being a strong woman is being vulnerable, reaching out for help, and showing your emotions.
If you believed the myth above, it's because our society has led us to believe that, and it's time to debunk those stereotypes or connotations.
MYTH: People who see a therapist/counselor are crazy and weird.
FACT: People who see a therapist are brave.
MYTH: What defines a beautiful woman is being skinny, flawless skin, happy all the time, and has the perfect wardrobe.
FACT: A beautiful woman is being beautiful internally, not externally.
MYTH: A successful woman does extremely well in her academics.
FACT: Academics doesn't define a successful woman, nor a man. ( Check out a list "Employers Rate the Importance of Candidate Qualities/Skills" written by Bill Coplin)
MYTH: All the well-known women I follow on Instagram have a perfect life and flawless bodies!
FACT: Most women I follow on Instagram are only showing me what they want me to see. I don't know what happens behind closed doors. This digital age allows anyone to reconstruct an image to erase imperfections, don't believe everything you see on the internet.
If you've ever believed any of the myths, I bet it made you feel negative about yourself or embarrassed. It's time to change that, you need to start believing in the facts.
Have a conversation with your girlfriends about these myths and how they have made you feel. I could put money that your friends have felt the exact way you have/are feeling about them too and there's a sense of ease knowing you aren't the only one feeling that way.
Personally, I've had that conversation and it's lifted a weight off my chest knowing I'm not alone and can relate to people. My girlfriends and I agreed to hold each other accountable for keeping positive thoughts about ourselves and that being vulnerable is a strength.
Start to promote the importance of women's positivity, because you never know who may be feeling worthless or scared to take off the mask, and by you sharing experiences and promoting positivity may just save their mental health.
A little something that helped my mental health:
- Seeing a therapist
- Writing in a journal
- Volunteering at my local Church
- Slowly began to open up to a few friends at a time
Signing off,
Mira Lillard
Comments